what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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