I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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