Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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