So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize