so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize