this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize