Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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