Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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