Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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