The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I want her autograph on my taint
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize