It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize