Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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