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Your tits are I can't wait for
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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