Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize