Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize