I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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