At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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