It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize