Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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