she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize