i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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