Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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