your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize