I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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