The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize