3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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