I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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