Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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