spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize