i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize