wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
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I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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