How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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