I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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