I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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