Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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