this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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