a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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