you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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