please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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