I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize