In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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