just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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