I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize