ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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