If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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