How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
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Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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