Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize