What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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