Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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