I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Girls should come with a carfax report
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Im part way to drunk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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